Hat tip to Greg Laden

Christian Creationist Cocktail

Four jiggers of Churchane
A spring of Godnose
Two tsp. Constipatic Acid
One tsp. Moronic Acid powder
A dash of Crapinon
A hefty dose of Dinile
Commic Acid to taste

Erotic Coctail

Mix some Dickite with Vaginatin
Stir in Clitorin
A squirt of Erotic Acid
Screwene to taste, if unavailable, use Fornacite
one tbs. Spermine
One quarter cup of Cummingtonite, liquified

Hedonist 666

Four jiggers of Luciferase
A dab of Lucifer yellow
Diabolic Acid to taste
stirred, not shaken.